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Monday, August 3, 2009

Creating a New Normal


One of the most powerful mantras I’ve gone back to time and time again is, “What’s here for me to learn, about myself and others, that is not readily apparent?” This could not be more apropos.

What I have learnt in the past week about myself is that it is okay to be helped and to ask for help. The realization that this was my challenge and lesson came to light very quickly. There is a fundamental difference between being helpless and being helped and I have had to reconcile that repeatedly as friends and family began to arrive bearing gifts of food and taking care of things in the house.

I am the one who shows up with the food, I am the one who comforts, I am the one who starts washing dishes and tidying up, I am the one…but these people were here to do it for me because I needed it. This was my challenge, I needed their help, and I let them help me.

There were times over the past week when while the kitchen was a flurry of activity, I smiled because I love the chaos that pre-empts a good meal. Then I would remember why all these people had gathered here.

Hearing laughter was warming as people reconnected, connected for the first time or were sharing stories and memories; and I found myself looking for him to be amongst it all.
I watched my girls be hugged, loved and showered with attention. And for those moments I expect that they too didn’t think about why.

Today we begin as a family team of three. 

Today we will work together to take care of each other and ourselves. 

Today we will draw on the uplifting energy of all the love we have been shown and move forward. 

Today is the day that we begin to create our new normal.