Creating Space Within by Choosing Forgiveness

My last blog post "Holding Your Own Without Losing Yourself", has been the motivation behind my focus for the month of November.  I'm choosing to consciously release experiences, memories, the niggling things that are in the past and reclaim that space for my present and future.

My intention is to get to neutral.  

Why neutral?  

Neutral is the vibeage where there is no longer any attachment to the emotions around the experience.  It allows you to be able to recall a memory without it spiking your emotional richter scale, and making you feel heavy with remorse, anger or other emotions that can weigh on us.

Depending on the scope of what comes up during this process I respect and appreciate that some things may not get wiped clean to neutral; however my intention is to lessen the grip and lighten the intensity overall.

Here is what I have come up with to guide me, and perhaps guide you.

Think of a person or experience that when brought to mind you feel negatively about. 

Perhaps you feel it in your gut, perhaps you feel it in your heart, perhaps your entire body is immersed in a clench of the emotions conjured up by that person, experience and memory.  

Emotions such as:

• Anger
• Annoyance
• Hurt
• Guilt
• Sadness
• Shame
• Disappointment
• Resentment
• Regret
• Bitterness
• Rage

And the list goes on…

However long ago this person or experience affected you, if when brought to mind you are catapulted back into that moment, back into those emotions, back to feeling what you felt as if it were happening in this moment, it is consuming valuable real estate within your heart and mind.

Forgiveness is not about accepting the person’s actions or words as okay; nor accepting the experience as appropriate or acceptable.  Forgiveness is relinquishing the discord you are holding onto and filling that space with Peace.

The words were said, the actions taken, they happened in the past and letting go of them releases them from your present and future.

Who or What are you holding onto most? 

Who or What could you let go of that could possibly make you feel lighter, literally and figuratively?

Perhaps its something that happened last week, last year, high school or childhood.

I invite you to ask yourself what it would feel like for you, if you no longer felt so strongly (negative) about it?

What would it feel like to release or lessen that feeling of holding on? To them or to it?

What would it feel like to no longer feel that strongly about something in your past?

What would it feel like to lessen that gripping feeling?

What would it feel like to be able to recall that person or experience and not get fired up?

What would it feel like if you were not carrying that excess baggage about someone or something in the past?

What would it feel like to be no longer affected by______________?

 What would it feel like to reclaim that space to be filled with feelings that support you rather than deplete you?

Have you ever done a big cleanup of your vehicle or home and when you stand back to admire your labors it feels fresher and lighter?

That feeling of “Oooh it feels so good to get behind the wheel and look through clean glass, see a freshly wiped console and vacuumed carpet!”. That action didn’t bring back the original new car smell but it most certainly improves the environment.

I invite you to take that freshly cleaned car feeling and superimpose that onto your heart and mind.

What would it feel like to wipe down your internal console, vac the carpets and shine up the glass through which you view the world, people and experiences?

OR

What about carrying a heavy bag on your shoulder or carrying a heavy box, and once you put it down your exhaustion lifts and fatigue begins to lessen practically immediately?

Expressing that feeling of “Wow, that feels much better”.

And after your break from carrying that load you pick it up again and it feels as heavy or heavier than before.

The same can relate to the heaviness of our thoughts and feelings. What would it feel like to put them down, and not pick them up to carry again, or at the very least, unload some of the weight?

For the next 30 days I invite you to “clean the glass, wipe the console, put down the heavy bag or box” and to overall lighten your load.

I invite you to reclaim the space being held by the stories, the experiences, the people, moments that hold you in a place of discord, discomfort and pain. 

Perhaps there is just one.

Perhaps there are many.

Pause for a moment and imagine what it would feel like to let some if not all of it go.