Purging & Acquisition: Last Lap

Getting back on the airplane to Frankfurt after our whirlwind tour of home we were exhausted and laden with luggage.  We came with 2 pieces (one suitcase held another suitcase inside) and left with 4 jumbo bags plus our abundantly plump carry-ons.

Leaving Canada with our stuff was easy, making our train connection in Frankfurt was going to be a synchronized weight lifting event.  Here is a tip:  When travelling by train in Europe, if the schedule states that it is leaving at 15:22 then it is leaving at 15:22. As well the train may only stop for about 3 or 4 minutes before it carries on out of the station.

I worked out with the girls who was going to get on first, who was going to be on the receiving end of me hoisting/pitching/dragging the bags into the train. Then we would negotiate where we would park the bags once on board.

Also, fun fact, I'm not a stranger to packing a well stocked bag and am usually in awe at those around me who get onto the train or check in at the airport with their Barbie size suitcase for a 3 week holiday.  Now I'm not opposed to the concept that you can always pick up what you need there, yeah that is never a problem.  The image of me and my girls with 4 large suitcases, 3 large carry-ons and purses, I believe made many an observer shake their head at us.

We were successful, we were exhausted, we were trying not to be lulled to sleep by the train as we had a station change in short order............Once back to our quaint little cottage, now feeling like it was bulging at the seams with our luggage our shoulders instantly relieved being back in our home.

Over the next few months we continued to cultivate our lives, our friendships, our connections and penchant to cover as much of Europe as possible, all the while knowing that our time in Deutschland and Nederland may be soon coming to an end.



Returning to Europe and back to the now familiar sights, sounds, languages and vibe.  We had been Blessed from the moment we first landed that we were welcomed and it felt like Home.  

Sure we hacked our way through the language, and that continued throughout our time, but very rarely did it feel "foreign" to be there, Germany and The Netherlands were exceptional Hosts.

Not all expats have this experience and I viewed this as a tremendous gift. 

The one thing that expats all have in common is having to say "good bye".

Purging & Acquisitions: Releasing with Love

I believe that there are varying levels of emotional value woven into whatever we have and are holding onto. 

1. that pair of boots you wore to the bucket list rock concert,
2. the jeans you wore in high school,
3. the cache of baby clothes and your kids are teens or older,
4. the teapot your grandmother used,
5. the ___(fill in the blank)___.

All the things that we surround ourselves with, hold a link to and tell us a story over and over again.  Having memories and items that help you remember times, people, events, milestones with fondness are off the charts in holding emotional value and are treasures.

However, if you associate the jeans you wore in high school with negative self talk like, "I'm so fat, how did I let my body get like this, I will never be that size again", are they truly valuable? Are they motivational?  If they make you feel like that...let them go 

If your intention is to have them as a reminder of your Rockin' Bod and the good times had while wearing them... that's a different story and it feels different to look at them and when you tell that story.

The house I selling was bursting with emotions.  It wasn't just a property it was:

• the house me and my husband built, 
• on the land that he and I loved, 
• in the community that we helped to create, 
• in association with the business he had dreamed of starting and owning for years,
• the place to host friends, family, Thanksgivings, Christmases, birthdays, celebrations of all things,
• it was our Family Home that our girls were to grow up in, move out of and come back to.

I wasn't just selling a house, I wasn't simply letting go of a building and some land, this was letting go of what we had known to be our foundation, of what was and what would never be.  

After my husband died, I had started referring to our going forward as "Creating a New Normal".   After physically leaving Canada every moment and experience was not just a New Normal but also one that required translation from either German or Dutch.  From the get go, when asked how we were doing I replied without hesitation that "We were having an exceptional experience!" And we did for just over 2 years!

Six months after I had put the house on the market and subsequently made adjustments to the price and still no action I felt it was time to address the energy around and feelings about actually selling.  

My intention was not to disregard or diminish the importance of what the house was to me, and my girls, but it was to find a way to make peace emotionally in order to let it go.

I believe in listening to your body and I'm an advocate for and practice listening to my "gut" as my intuitive guide.  Three main things came up for me

1. Whenever I thought of the house I felt a clenching in my chest...Not good.  
2. I felt that as much as I wanted to sell it I was clutching it to my chest...Not conducive to manifesting a buyer.  
3. Whenever the girls and I talked about the house it sounded like we were talking about their Dad, not the building...tricky

So I asked myself a couple questions:  

If we weren't in Europe right now would I be selling the house?  

Answer:  Yes

If we were to repatriate to Canada tomorrow, next month, next year would we move back into the house?  Answer: No

So I went back to the basics and created some affirmations that I wanted to attach to the house to help to alleviate and move away from the chest clutching feeling.

Affirmations

The photo on the right is an affirmation I created recently for someone who is selling and not unlike the ones I began to use myself.

Every time I thought of the house I immediately started to affirm letting it go with Love.

Every time we spoke of a family memory I would thank the house and affirm letting it go with Love.

Every opportunity I could change the language in association with the house I did.  And it began to feel better and easier.

Expressing Gratitude

Next thing I did was wrote a letter and got my girls to do the same.  The letter was dual purpose.  First to express our Gratitude to and for the house and land; and secondly as a Welcome to the Most Perfect New Owners.

I started by expressing gratitude to the house for keeping us safe, warm in winter, cool in summer. For being the most perfect place to live, for being such a gracious host to our celebrations with family and friends and for daily living.  I thanked it for being The MOST perfect place for the girls to grow up.  I thanked it for all the attributes that sprung to mind.

I thanked my husband for choosing the location, for creating such an amazing yard, for tending to the land and respecting it.  For all the things he did to make the house our home.

I thanked everyone who ever came through my door and for adding such positive energy to our space.

Welcoming

Next I welcomed the new family.  I told them how they had made the Most Perfect choice to live here.  I excitedly told them about all the wonderful reasons they will LOVE living here.  I told them how the yard and valley craved for kids to run, play and explore.  I told them how breathtaking the valley was in every season and to watch for the ample wildlife.  I told them how strong and secure the house was and that it will love being freshened up to reflect their style.  I affirmed all of their reasons for choosing to make this their home.

After completing the letters we read them out loud, which led us to share stories of this, that and the other thing.  When we spoke about those things it felt good, it didn't feel like loss.  It helped to shift from "clutching onto it" to "releasing with it peacefully".

To finish what now had become quasi ceremonial, we burned our letters and released them...with Love.

Retail Value

Finally, I asked my agent to provide me with a blank copy of the Offer to Purchase.  I filled it in with painstaking detail as if it were the real deal.

For the names of the Purchasers I put: The Most Perfect Family or Better

For the price, I put in my walk away price:  $XXX,XXX.XX or Better

For the date of possession: I put in a date and added or Better

I signed it as the Seller and Signed it for the Purchaser as above.  Then put it away and let the energy flow!

I'd love this sentence to read, "And after I put my pen down my agent called ..." :)