Buying and selling real estate can be a stressful time, while simultaneously being a very energetic and positive time.
The not so good energy around property transactions can be turned on by the reasons why you are selling or buying. Perhaps its driven by a lifestyle or career change which has warranted the move, or grief and loss. The feelings and thoughts may be charged around "having to sell".
The good energy can be related as a fresh start, new home, exciting change either upsizing or downsizing. The feelings and thoughts may be charged with the "want to" vibes which feels a lot better.
Selling or buying a home because you "have to" versus "want to" feels different. The have to's may have you dragging your feet, literally or energetically, it feels forced, that the decision was made not by voluntary choice. The resistance to the change, the move, the purchase is felt throughout and can linger after the ink has dried.
Doing things because we "want to" already pre-paves the road to easy transactions. When we want to do something, well anything, our list of resistance is practically non-existent. It makes for a more pleasant process and anything that pops up is viewed as fixable or negotiable, not a deal breaker.
"Have to" equals Resistance
When you move because you have to, it can be hard to let go of the home you left, especially when it hasn't been sold. You are constantly reminded that you have left a house you loved when you are making two payments, double utility bills, and of course drive by and see the "For Sale" sign still there.
It makes it difficult to really settle into the place you are presently when the attachment to the other house as your home, makes the house you are in, just a house and not your home.
Just as I experienced switching over to my Macbook, making the move from PC would have been far easier to accept had my PC perished. The same can be said about creating a home, if you are still feeling loyal to the other property, no number of practical reasons as to why you are no longer living there make it feel any better when the home you loved is still available.
This can be the kink in creating space for the most perfect purchaser to come forward. Making peace with the reasons why you are having to let the property go and welcoming the purchaser can be deal changer.
"Want to" equals Flow
Having had the experience myself, living in another country while still having our family home, it makes for a unique challenge. My daughters were open while equally resistant to making such a substantial change, however from the moment we arrived overseas it felt like our "home away from home".
My making the decision to sell was easy. We had moved away and were moving forward, and the idea of returning to our family home did not feel good. Yet there was resistance in the knowledge that we "wanted to" continue moving forward but felt we "should" feel loyal towards keeping the family home. A bit of a juxtaposition.
Letting Go with Love
The good energy of any deal you are making is when both parties come away from the transaction feeling good. That process can start when everyone on your side is onboard before you invite anyone else to the table.
When the sale of my home, while we were living in Europe, was not happening as quickly as I had wanted, I began to look for where the kinks were. That juxtaposition above kept coming up over and over.
The history of, the intention for and purpose of that home was infused with Big Energy. We built it, intended for the girls to grow up there, intended to grow old there, it was our home in any and all senses of the word.
Even when we lived there for the year after the funeral, the energy was shifting away from it being our home, to it feeling more of it being a house. Yes, the truth of the matter was that our not being there physically sped up the shift of it feeling more like a house, rather than our home.
I set about releasing the lingering energy and attachment so that both, the house and us, could move forward with good energy.
Gratitude
I asked my daughters to write a couple letters...first one was to the house. Yup, you read that correctly. I believed that we needed to express our thanks to the house for having been our home.
I suggested that we thank it for keeping us safe, kept us warm in winter and cool in summer. That it was the home that held so many memories, hosted so many friends and family gatherings. Loads of laughter, love and tears. That the nine acres we lived on was so beautiful and how blessed we were to have benefited from regular visits from wildlife that we could observe. That hills allowed for tobogganing and exploring. That it was the most perfect house for them and I to have called home.
The second letter was to the most perfect buyers. Telling them how wonderful the house was, how much fun they would have starting a family or bringing a family there. How the yard longed for active energy of a family and how much room they had to roam on. How we were so excited for them to live there and begin to refresh and rejuvenate its essence. And how happy they would be there.
I invited them to think about what it would look and feel like for another family to live there. How even though it may feel strange, how nice it would be for them to have such an amazing spot to call and make home.
This process allowed all of us to let go of any residual guilt we had been feeling by wanting to let go of the house, yet feeling that perhaps we should not. The activity of letter writing allowed us to focus on all the positive memories we had there and how perfect of a place it was for someone to create theirs.
Creating these letters gave ourselves permission to continue moving forward after glancing fondly into the past, feeling gratitude and love and letting the house go. Without regret.
Regret would have kept us bonded to the house, when we were not regretting being where we were, it was not a vibration we wanted to carry forward.
After the letters I completed a blank offer to purchase. Filling in the details as concisely as if I were the real estate agent. Ticking the boxes of what the house included, and most importantly filling in the price. This helped me get the image into my head as to what it would look and feel like to receive the most perfect offer from the most perfect buyer. It took me from wishing for a buyer but to feeling as if I had one.
We gathered all of our letters and burned them in our bbq. Letting them go into the ethers.
That changed the emotional attachment to the house, that changed how we felt when we thought of the house and the sale of same.
Our activities cleared the path and welcomed the timely sale of our house, shortly thereafter.
