Don't you just love an epiphany?
That moment when you have a realization of a what it is you really really want. Then in the next breath you are deflated because you are uncertain how to fill in the gap between. Ugh :(
Recently, while deciding between which one out of two houses to purchase I had such an experience.
Here was the deal:
House #1: met 4 out of 5 of the criteria of my ideal house; plus needed immediate renovations.
House #2: ticked all of the 5 boxes; plus was move in ready.
On paper it was a no-brainer, that House #2 was the one to pursue with an offer; yet the trump card was that House #1 evoked an emotional response within me and that "story" was impacting how I saw the on paper "facts".
Who doesn't love a good story, especially the ones when you get so emotionally invested in. And I was invested.
The story that House #1 was evoking in me was the feelings and the past experience of living in Europe.
The style of the house conjured up our time living in Germany, and that was an exceptional experience. The common denominator was that we, collectively, were happy to be there in all ways. All of us loved our time there, the culture, the food, the people, the landscape, the energy. We were going, doing, seeing, connecting, communing...We were living All In!
When I looked at House #1, and even though it didn't tick all of the boxes, and even though there would be the added expense of replacing flooring and painting, I wanted the house because it reminded me of that All In energy we had abroad.
The Sweet Story Crash
If you have ever thought...
If I buy that house, those shoes, that car...then I will be happy.
or
I will be happy when...I change jobs, cities or relationships.
Then to find that in the short term those things did bring a semblance of happiness but in the long run you were shopping to find other "things" or "changes" to re-energize that feeling.
It is akin to drinking a sugary drink to boost your energy only to crash after the initial rush has worn off.
My sweet story (albeit fiction) I had in mind was that buying that house would re-energize that living style and lifestyle we had enjoyed.
The truth, the facts, the non-fiction version of the story is that if I want to feel that All In energy I don't have to look very far for it, because it comes from within, and not from buying House #1 or any else.
I know this to be true.
Based on a True Story
Gratefully, although not without resistance, the offer was made on House #2, and we have been living here for a month. Admittedly, I didn't completely release the story about House #1 until a couple days of being here.
However the moment I realized it was a story and that the essence was that it wasn't the house I wanted as much as I wanted the feelings that it evoked in from memory.
I redirected my energy towards really feeling what I felt like in living in Europe, not in a living in the past kind of way, but the energy I lived with.
I began to focus on what it felt like,
What I felt like,
What it sounded like,
Smelled like,
Tasted like...
engaging every sensory, emotional, and feeling I could in order to really amp up that All In Feeling.
I began to focus on what it felt like,
What I felt like,
What it sounded like,
Smelled like,
Tasted like...
engaging every sensory, emotional, and feeling I could in order to really amp up that All In Feeling.
And that energy FEELS GOOD!
Reverse Engineering the How
Getting to that All In Feeling, was easy, having had the experience to draw from.
There was the potential to slip into the "poor me", "I don't have that anymore", "I miss that energy", but going down that path defeats the purpose. Going down that street is the opposite of feeling good. Therefore I set my intention.
My intention was clear
"reflect on and feel the past All in Energy experience",
and use that as a template to move forward.
I want to manifest that All In Energy in my life, in our new home, in our still new to us city, and in our return to our home country.
I want to manifest it...Right now in the present and going forward.
But How?
The great part of focusing on the end result is that you are opening yourself up to a host of possibilities. I didn't generate a long to do list of how I would feel that All In Vibeage, I just continued to channel the energy, I kept the feel good pipeline wide open.
Many things have shifted and changed in the last month. The biggest is that I'm feeling that energy being replenished, faster because I'm still deliberately creating it, everyday.
The choices I am making are founded in whether or not a decision supports my intention to feel All In. Consciously I'm actively tuned in to whether or not this, that or the other thing is in alignment with my intention.
Inspiration to create opportunities to feed that energy is in abundance. I didn't need a GPS to stitch my epiphany about happiness together, I felt it within and it is manifesting in my world everyday!
P.S. I may even be writing a book, I'm so inspired :)
