World Suicide Prevention Day Reblog: Illnesses that no one saw coming

Originally Posted in 2013

I believe in synchronicity.

I believe in and welcome the arrival of the most perfect people, teachers, words, inspiration, motivation, products etc coming into my world.

As the Universe would have it, I was compelled to click on a link that led me to the following post regarding the language used in, amongst, around and in association with Suicide.

Here is what’s troublesome about the term “suicide survivor.” With cancer, heart disease, liver failure and so on, the survivor is the person who is directly affected by the health problem, who lives it and sometimes dies from it.

By taking on the role of “suicide survivor,” the bereaved accept the role of “victim” as well, since they are inexorably connected. You cannot be a survivor without being a victim.

And to be a victim, there must be a perpetrator.

Would that perpetrator, then, be the very person for whom they grieve? 

This post has shaken my core, in as much as I have been precipitating the very stigma around Suicide that I "wished" did not exist, however never thought to turn the language around as I have in other areas of my life.  The author has given me a powerful tool to do just that.

When we replace “killed themselves” or “committed suicide” with “had a fatal depressive episode,” we start to see the horror of the mental illness that took our son, our daughter, our sister, our brother, our husband, our wife, cousin or friend.

And we can reduce the stigma, we can open a real dialogue, we can stop blaming our loved ones and ourselves and get to the tasks at hand – understanding, healing and prevention.

No matter if or how you have had an experience with suicide this post may very well be a catalyst of change.

Change in how we think about Suicide;

Change in how we don't talk about Suicide;

Change in how we feel about Suicide;

Change in how we heal;

Change in how we move forward.

I am grateful for Joel Kobren's, honesty, vulnerability and courage in this post 

"Illnesses that no one saw coming".

This post is infused with Peace and Love,

Sherry

http://sherrytrentini.blogspot.com.au/2013/07/the-emotional-oil-water.html

Yang Earth and Fire; Yin Wood, Metal and Water

Yang Earth and Fire; Yin Wood, Metal and Water Observations.

This is in response to a reader's quiz submission.

Thank you!

Earth is your Yang Element, what you show on the outside.

Fire is the compliment Yang Element, supporting your creation of Earth.

Your Internal Yin elements are Metal, Water and Wood.

Strong Earth indicates that you are practical, stable, grounded in the here and now.  While the assessment total in relation to the other elements may suggest that you may have and to take on too much responsibility, feelings of getting stuck, not moving forward, rather a feeling of being anchored or weighed down.

In the I Ching; Earth is the Element associated with the Love & Relationship area of the Bagua.

Known as the receptive; being able to take something in.  The receptive Earth.

Keyword is Devotion; between love partners and within self.

In order to balance out the dominance of Earth, I invite you to add Wood.  Wood consumes Earth.

Wood is intuition, knowledge, inspiration, active, awake & alert.  It embodies openmindness, ability to trust, ability to accept guidance, to take reasonable risks, to try new activities.

Too little wood can keep us “small” or not branching out.

Health & Family’s element is Wood.  The I Ching associates: arousing, thunder & shock.  The best reaction to shock is laughter; Despite being shocked by a thunderclap life goes on.  Shock is a movement to transformation.

What can or is stimulating transformation in your life? 

What seeds can you plant and nurture in Health – Body, Mind, Spirit?

What can you “unearth” about your relationships; to self and to others?

Is there a new way at looking at your relationships?

What can you cultivate in your life?

Highlight with Metal & Water

Metal is the mental and intellectual.  It is the element of both strength and endurance; as well it can be made malleable. 

Metal is excavated from Earth.  To little metal can be procrastination, avoidance, forgetting.  I invite you to consider releasing some of the Earth’s burden of responsibilities to lighten the anchor. 

What area of your life are you holding on to things that others may help support you?

What could you delegate?

Water is the source of life, it is the tapping into the soul, spirit, trusting in the flow of life.  This could be an invitation to “dive” into something. To feel more fluid, to nourish growth.

An Affirmation for you…

Purging & Acquisition: Last Lap

Getting back on the airplane to Frankfurt after our whirlwind tour of home we were exhausted and laden with luggage.  We came with 2 pieces (one suitcase held another suitcase inside) and left with 4 jumbo bags plus our abundantly plump carry-ons.

Leaving Canada with our stuff was easy, making our train connection in Frankfurt was going to be a synchronized weight lifting event.  Here is a tip:  When travelling by train in Europe, if the schedule states that it is leaving at 15:22 then it is leaving at 15:22. As well the train may only stop for about 3 or 4 minutes before it carries on out of the station.

I worked out with the girls who was going to get on first, who was going to be on the receiving end of me hoisting/pitching/dragging the bags into the train. Then we would negotiate where we would park the bags once on board.

Also, fun fact, I'm not a stranger to packing a well stocked bag and am usually in awe at those around me who get onto the train or check in at the airport with their Barbie size suitcase for a 3 week holiday.  Now I'm not opposed to the concept that you can always pick up what you need there, yeah that is never a problem.  The image of me and my girls with 4 large suitcases, 3 large carry-ons and purses, I believe made many an observer shake their head at us.

We were successful, we were exhausted, we were trying not to be lulled to sleep by the train as we had a station change in short order............Once back to our quaint little cottage, now feeling like it was bulging at the seams with our luggage our shoulders instantly relieved being back in our home.

Over the next few months we continued to cultivate our lives, our friendships, our connections and penchant to cover as much of Europe as possible, all the while knowing that our time in Deutschland and Nederland may be soon coming to an end.



Returning to Europe and back to the now familiar sights, sounds, languages and vibe.  We had been Blessed from the moment we first landed that we were welcomed and it felt like Home.  

Sure we hacked our way through the language, and that continued throughout our time, but very rarely did it feel "foreign" to be there, Germany and The Netherlands were exceptional Hosts.

Not all expats have this experience and I viewed this as a tremendous gift. 

The one thing that expats all have in common is having to say "good bye".

Challenging ourselves with Change

I personally believe that the Knowledge & Self Cultivation Gua in Feng Shui is one of the most important areas on the bagua map to be mindful of when using Feng Shui. All of the guas are important and are inter-related however the significance of that gua is a place I myself start and encourage my clients to as well.

This gua is described as the “Still Mountain”, it is home of the Earth Element and is an area which encourages one to be still and grounded with self, and to meditate. When we take the opportunity to reflect on who we are, when we can be still and quiet we can invite clarity about what and where we are at with ourselves.

When mapping the bagua on my home overall, the majority of this area is outside in the landscape and encompasses my eldest daughter’s bedroom. This can present a challenge as I can not do much to this physical area in the winter and my daughter’s space is her own. Therefore I must ensure that this gua is boosted in other areas of my home to balance out the energy.

I feel that January is a month in which we can truly begin to check in with ourselves and reground, even when the ground is literally frozen. Despite January 1st being a landmark for creating resolutions or making intentions for the new year, based on collective consciousness, the month can be a time to reflect on the past, take stock, get clear, and my fave let go of the things that do not serve you (physically, mentally & emotionally).

My daughters suggested yesterday that they wanted to switch bedrooms, my Mom instinct was to say NO because I was already engrossed in de-clutter mode and I didn’t physically want to end up doing “their” project. Then the irony occurred to me, “Who am I to say No to changing rooms?” My kids are subjected to my doing this all the time and suddenly I don’t think this is a good idea, how funny is that! What a brilliant way for them to get a new fresh perspective by changing spaces, and what a great way to freshen up the chi in our overall Knowledge & Self Cultivation Gua. I laid the ground rules (I was Not moving furniture) and they very energetically tackled the project by themselves.

It wasn’t until late afternoon, when the chatter filtering down to me switched to outrage. I was quick to learn that my 9 year old (who instigated this move), suddenly realized she was losing square footage and wanted her room back NOW! My nearly 7 year old was not going to comply because hey this was a good deal for her and she succinctly said, “I gave you what you asked for and now you don’t want it!”

The grass is always greener right…So what do I do?

The move was 95% complete and if I decide to have them switch back that would stop one from hyperventilating but would surely put the other in a tailspin, and let’s face it I’d be doing the actual work because their cooperative spirit has been doused.

I decide to go with the life lesson door, and I clarify with the both of them about how this idea came to pass, I remind them of the excitement they took on the task with, I congratulate them for all the work they did by themselves without me, and how now that the work is done we will not be switching everything back to the way it was.

My 9 year old is absolutely devastated, and was frantically coming up with ways to describe how this is effecting her and she will most likely die because she has to be in that room and all she wants is her room back and she would be happy. I calmly let her know that when a person makes a big decision that there are times when the outcome isn’t as you expected but you have to find a way to make peace with it. I encouraged her to think about why she had come up with the idea in the first place and how she could creatively think of ways to make it work for her. It took time, she wanted to blame her sister, in the end she said that maybe this would actually be a good thing. And I couldn’t agree more!

When any change occurs in our lives the lesson we learn from the experience may not be clear or what we expected at first glance. How we learn to adapt to the newness and make peace with it will undoubtedly be a bigger lesson we learn about ourselves in the end.

In the words of Louise L. Hay, from You Can Heal Your Life:
In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect,
whole and complete, and yet life is ever changing.
There is no beginning and no end,
only a constant cycling and recycling of substance and experiences.
life is never stuck or static or stale,
for each moment is ever new and fresh.
I am one with the very Power that created me and this Power
has given me the power to create my own circumstances.
I rejoice in the knowledge that I have the power of my own mind to use in any way I choose.
Every moment of life is a new beginning point as we move from the old. This moment is a new point of beginning for me right here and right now.

All is well in my world.

With Grateful Ch’i
Sherry