Creating a New Normal

One of the most powerful mantras I’ve gone back to time and time again is, “What’s here for me to learn, about myself and others, that is not readily apparent?” This could not be more apropos.

What I have learnt in the past week about myself is that it is okay to be helped and to ask for help. The realization that this was my challenge and lesson came to light very quickly. There is a fundamental difference between being helpless and being helped and I have had to reconcile that repeatedly as friends and family began to arrive bearing gifts of food and taking care of things in the house.

I am the one who shows up with the food, I am the one who comforts, I am the one who starts washing dishes and tidying up, I am the one…but these people were here to do it for me because I needed it. This was my challenge, I needed their help, and I let them help me.

There were times over the past week when while the kitchen was a flurry of activity, I smiled because I love the chaos that pre-empts a good meal. Then I would remember why all these people had gathered here.

Hearing laughter was warming as people reconnected, connected for the first time or were sharing stories and memories; and I found myself looking for him to be amongst it all.
I watched my girls be hugged, loved and showered with attention. And for those moments I expect that they too didn’t think about why.

Today we begin as a family team of three. 

Today we will work together to take care of each other and ourselves. 

Today we will draw on the uplifting energy of all the love we have been shown and move forward. 

Today is the day that we begin to create our new normal.

What Book is it or was it for you?

I just read a blog this morning that broached the subject of "Which of the current hot books out there, that are meant to inspire self cultivation and knowledge, should a person work with?" Books by Ekhart Tolle, Jerry & Esther Hicks, Byron Katie and The Secret were the ones referred to and how there are differences in their approaches to the manifestation of your best life yet they may be confusing as they are similar but very unique.

So which of those and the many other authors out there inviting you to embrace and live your dreams do you follow? Is it a mish mash of many techniques or is there one that makes you say, “This is it, I get it, I can do this!”

By far the book with the most awareness is A New Earth by Ekhart Tolle with the diligence of Oprah. I have to say that the book was okay but for me at times boring, wanting him to get to the point and it has been sitting on my shelf with maybe 30 pages left and I can’t bring myself to finish. I didn’t do the online class, couldn’t get connected, I watched the shows where people had these light bulb moments on page such and such, so I would grab the book re-read the section and shrug my shoulders and think, I’ve got nothin’! I disagree with what Oprah said repeatedly that this book will be the one to transform your life…”if you are ready to receive it”.

Hmmm so it took me some time to work through that comment since I wasn’t having these light bulb moments so am I not ready to “receive it”? Admittedly I took that as a challenge to forge through and came upon a page that I interpreted that what I was already doing meant I was living the New Earth. Did I need to press through the book in order to know that, probably not but I did and well if I never read those 30 pages I’m good with that.

Esther & Jerry Hicks were highly acclaimed for their book, Ask and it is Given, Esther was also featured in the original release of The Secret. I opted to buy the book “The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent”, and could not get into it. Again for me it was written in such a style that never seemed to get to the point, repetition is a means of retaining information and yet I was struck with being annoyed that they it was like walking on a treadmill, not actually getting anywhere.

Byron Katie has a fascinating book, “Loving What Is”. I’ve skimmed it and have used her tools with success. She has an amazing story of triumph and how this information came to be and has undoubtedly moved many people forward with her approach.

As for The Secret, I think this is the most brilliant way to make people aware of their own power and that which is bigger than them. The marketing, the packaging, the style and the delivery is stellar. I love to tell people about the movie and have shared my copy with many. Is it the be all and end all? No I wouldn’t say that. However it may very well be the beginning of something for many that may encourage them to delve deeper or it may be their “thing”. For me it wasn’t new information but the means in which it was communicated and their interpretation of the info that prompted a renewed energy in the process for me.

When you get a recommendation from someone about a product or service or whatever, there is a 50/50 chance that it’s not going to be the same for you as it was them. At the end of the day what works for me, may very well not work for you, or may work for you far better than it ever worked for me. I am always willing to share what I know or my resources, however, I have included in my recommendation with all things, “Take what you want and leave the rest.”

The question was posed at the end of that blog this morning was, “What book would you want with you on a deserted island?” Based on Knowledge & Self Cultivation my choice would be: “You Can Heal Your Life.” By Louise L. Hay.

Enjoy Your Day!

Fish out of Water

This morning the family cat, named Cookie, discovered where we had relocated our beta fish, not a good way to start the day. My eldest really wants a dog, (I do not therefore we are not getting one), settled on Saturday with the idea of keeping the fish. Sure, I bet the cat will spend less time on top of the piano now.

So as I transferred the fish to a fresh small glass container, she carefully added the colored stones, shells and a sizeable faux diamond. Down to the computer she went and printed off a sea background and named the fish “Bubbles”. Despite the beta diet of a small pinch of flakes every couple days she found the move must have gotten his appetite going so even without the cat she may feed him to death instead.

Everyone was moving slower than normal this morning, and with heavy feet my eldest was off to her room to get dressed for the day. Shrieks, screams and a waterfall of tears followed moments after she left the kitchen as the cat had managed to dump the fish out of its new home and onto her bed.

I ran to the room to find her freaking out and the fish laying on the bed. She began to holler how she hated the cat and how we should get rid of the cat for killing the fish. Off to the kitchen to get another container with water so I could scoop the fish up and see if it was still alive. Sure enough it was. But my daughter wanted the cat to HANG!

Fish happy to be back in water, she continued the scene as I began to strip the bed and clean up the mess.

“I Hate Cookie!, Don’t you Hate Cookie for killing the fish?”

“Well the fish isn’t dead its just fine, it is certainly shocked, but its alive and well in the bowl.”

“I Hate the Cat, I never want to see the cat again!”

I shared with her that, “No I didn’t hate the cat, (not its biggest fan at the present moment), but I did hate that the cat created this mess.” She stopped for a moment. And before she could continue on her rage and keep her focus on the fact that the cat had murdered the fish, despite the obvious evidence to the contrary I repeated what I said.

This isn’t a Looney Tunes cartoon episode where the cat is the villain and actively is conniving ways to capture a bird, or in this case a fish. Yes I’m not at all impressed that the cat didn’t just go into the bedroom and sleep the day away as she normally does. I’m not at all pleased that I have to strip the bed, get a fan, mop up the mattress, I’ve got lunches half made, kids need to brush teeth and put socks on, bags need checking and double checking yada yada…you see where this is going. But amid the chaos I still didn’t hate the cat.

Hmmm…There is a fundamental difference being hating someone/something versus hating what that someone/something has done. The grace is being to see that grey area or fine line in order to divide the emotion.

In that moment I saw the grey, and that line helped to split the overriding emotions around the situation and that of my daughters’.

Its easy to get caught up in the moment and emotion. How many times have you been able to look back at a time, moment or person/place/situation and see the grey well after the fact. The grey is always there but it just takes us to be present and look for it so we can move through with grace.

Phew! Good Recover and an even better Present!

Namaste!

"Hurray!"

If you haven’t already seen these commercials promoting being power smart they are brilliant! Here are the links from You Tube: BC Hydro: Lights Off; BC Hydro: Cell Phone; BC Hydro: Laptop .

All of the commercials are focused around being Power smart, shutting off lights; unplugging the cell phone charger and laptop cord. When the person in the commercial does this there is a group of people who are dressed “football fan” style and they cheer, hoot, holler, & high five when the lights are turned off and or cord unplugged. Not only does the person in the commercial have a cheering squad for doing well for the environment but they get cheered for doing something so commonplace.

Imagine doing what you do and having someone giving you a big “Hurray!” for doing things like:
· Folding the laundry & buying the groceries
· Finding that illusive mate to a sock
· Fill in your own blank

In the course of the day the novelty of having a squad "Hurray-ing" you at every turn would undoubtedly wear off rather quickly. And as my points are directed to the Mom Job description there are more times than not when what you do is taken for granted.

I’ve got a “rental” child for 3 weeks. Friends went off to Africa and without hesitation I agreed many months ago to take their 9 year old daughter. My eldest and her are in the same class, are friends in and out of school; and my youngest is thrilled to have another “big sister”.

This has all been very exciting getting our home ready to receive her. Moving things in and around; creating a space for her and her things; creating space in our schedules to accommodate her commitments; buying groceries after getting the low down on her likes and dislikes and generally preparing for her to blend into our ecosystem with as few bumps as possible.
Even though she has only been here since Monday I have to say she’s adapted quite nicely and I must say I’m lovin’ the fanfare, sans the football gear.

Yes, the compliments have been flying about the French Toast at breakfast, last night’s spaghetti supper was a big hit and I enlisted them to make an apple crisp that she has absolutely fawned over. Even telling me again this morning how good it was and couldn’t wait to have another helping after school.

Wow is all I can say. I haven’t changed anything that I normally do, well okay I’ve made a couple desserts in the last week that has had my own family wondering what’s going on with me, but as a general rule I’m not Food TV-ing it just the same ole same ole.

However, I must admit that the compliments are working for me. They have reminded me that sometimes doing what you do may feel at times routine and therefore not “Hurray” worthy but when someone does acknowledge what you too may take for granted it certainly shifts the energy, your own and that of the ecosystem.

So here is my “Hurray” to receiving gratitude; and my intention is to pay it forward! May you choose to do the same!

So from Me to You...“Hurray! Whoo Hoo! Great Job! High Five! Thanks!"

Going with the Flow

Listening, watching and being within the ocean during my vacation reminded me of the environment’s physical ability to compliment itself with change. As well as at home, the cold harshness of winter is letting go to the gentle renewal of spring. Everything has its own rhythm.

I really enjoy going into the ocean and floating, rolling with the water as it crests and just letting my body be moved and supported by the water. Someone nearby was trying to do the same and asked me how I was able to keep my toes out of the water while doing so? From a physical standpoint I explained that I was keeping my body lifted towards the top of the water and then just breathing and floating. No real technique, just “going with the flow”.

I watched as they forced their feet to the surface but kept their backside closer to the bottom so when the water would rise they would get a face full rather than floating atop as a leaf would. It appeared that they were working against the water, trying to control the movement and working to keep afloat rather than “just going with the flow”.

Working with your current momentum of your life can be challenging. Perhaps you are in a low tide place where things are seemingly moving at a slower pace; allowing your mind and body to be in restoration in order to prepare for the high energy of high tide.

I love my high tide; when I’m going and doing, connecting and building, riding the wave! However there can be times when while on the move I look forward to the ebb. Contrarily there are times when I less than love the low tide and am working vigorously towards getting back in the flow; but am beginning to understand and appreciate the benefits of this balance.

Just as the lesson of floating in the ocean; it is distracting to think about the ebb while in the flow and vice versa. Being present can be the largest lesson to learn and a most valuable habit to cultivate. The Yin/Yang symbol shows us the balance of light & dark and is constantly moving in synchronicity. And just as our physical environment teaches us that surely spring follows winter; low tide follows high tide; and day will turn to night; we sometimes have to let go of our idea of control and trust that the pattern is working synchronistic ally in our lives even though it may not be readily apparent.

Vacation Mode

When is the last time you took a vacation? I mean the kind where you are not travelling to go to a conference, wedding, family event, or any other occasion but simply going away from your home to vacate your work, your routine and your space?

For me it has been to many years to admit to and I recently returned from a glorious week on the island of Maui. I have been fortunate in my life to spend some quality time there however this was a first trip for my husband and kids and our first collective trip together to the beach.

Prior to vacating the premises I frantically buzzed in my life to get things done before our departure. Roaring through the house to clean it, doing laundry, and washing linens. Packing up the luggage for myself and the kids, fussing about which books I haven’t read and trying to pick which ones I would take (note I said take & not read). Anxious to make sure that all consults, classes or appointments had been confirmed for my return, email inbox managed, phone calls returned etc etc. However I had planned to take my laptop so that even though I was on vacation I would still be accessible by email and really this would keep one foot on the beach but still have one foot at home. Hmmm a bit contrary isn’t it.

Truth be told, I had forgotten what it was like to really vacate, to abandon my personal routine of coffee & inbox. And even though my intention was to just “be” and go with the flow, I really didn’t have a clear vision of what that would be like. But the environment reminded me quickly brought me present and all I wanted to be was with 2 feet on the beach.

On Day 2 I got connected so I could send out my email blast for my upcoming classes, I decided 15 minutes tops. You know skim read the inbox, send out the email which I had begun to create prior to leaving and poof press send and grab a towel and go.

Day 3 I thought okay just another 15 minutes on the computer as I had difficulty updating my webpage with the class information and the family was moving slowly that morning so I could safely step out of the vacation mode momentarily.

Aha not such the case…in my haste I neglected to provide the most fundamental information and my inbox was flooded with questions like, “I’d love to take the class, when is it being held?”, “I didn’t see a time or date for your classes I’d like to register…” and many variations on the same. It was in that moment as I began to frantically reply that I realized that I had not committed to truly vacating. In fact I thought that I would be successful in being in both places at the same time but my heart, my mind and my body wanted to be at the beach.

After replying to the emails, resending my blast and apologizing for the error, I shut down the computer and put it away in the suitcase only to be brought out to download the pictures off of the camera. This decision was easy, it allowed me to be present, and I chose not to think of what my inbox represents and rather decided to firmly plant both feet! Aloha

Color Please!

The palette of colors outside my window presently are pretty blah! Snow and brown trees for as far as the eye can see. The weather this past week can be best described as brutal! On Sunday January 27th, it was +8 degrees Celcius; the next day the temps dropped to -37; we’ve endured wind chills that feel like -52; and the blizzards in addition to the cold has made travelling, even short distances, precarious at best. White is the color associated with the Element of Metal. When we have too much white there may be too much thinking and not enough doing. So add some Red to your day.

Red is home with the element of Fire; buy yourself some red carnations; with Valentines approaching put Red roses on your wish list. Red can also be added to your wardrobe, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be seen! Red aids in communication; too much red may be aggressive while not enough can leave you cold.

Yellow and earthtones go with Earth; not only does yellow stimulate energy when seen visually but it helps to control the Black & Dark colors of winter. Too much earth can make you feel stuck, while too little may make you feel disconnected.

Winter is associated with the Element of Water; and is found in the shortened days and our wardrobe choices. Adding a punch of color to your wardrobe may help to perk up your energy to get through the days. Too much water can be described as being “wishy washy; while not enough water can make you indecisive.

Greens & Blues are Wood Element colors; Wood is intuition and upward movement and also is a great way to control the earth element and feeds fire! Too much wood can equal impatience or irritation; and too little equals the inability to move forward.

It’s hard to fathom that in a few weeks this cold winter will be becoming a memory as we start to see the transition to spring. In the interim, bring color into your space and use it as a tool to fuel your energy!

Off to the florist I go!

With Grateful Ch’i