The Emotional Oil & Water

Grief can arrive like the rolling in of black clouds before a storm.

Grief can make your brain feel stuffy like a full blown head cold.

Grief can make your physical body feel as if you are walking through mud.

Grief can contract your emotions so tight you feel like you are waiting for the bomb to blow.

Grief feeds on and morphs into the very monsters hiding in the closet or under the bed.  

Grief sensitizes us to ourselves and others.
Grief is the great lecturer on the past;
Grief is the shoulda, coulda, woulda.
Grief is the judge and the jury;
and given permission grief can be the jailer.

Grief is the darkness.

Grief does to you anything it wants...if you allow it.

So what now................(Inhale Peace)

I choose Gratitude (Exhale Love)

I choose Lovingkindness.

The days leading up to the memorial date were not filled with Lovingkindness.  Nope they sure were not.

I was channelling the power of anger and depression.  The uninvited flashback moments of 4 years ago running through my  mind.  The details as crystal clear as if it were all happening in present moment.  I could feel it in my body, I could smell it, I could taste it.  I could hear the question, "Why?" being asked by myself and others.  I was generating a vortex full of wrath and fury fueled with sadness and loss.  I was feeling "without".

Then, I would look at my daughters and the storm would pause, the turbulence would sigh with dismay at losing momentum.

The morning of the memorial day I woke up feeling lighter.  Feeling partly cloudy rather than imminent storm.  I asked the girls what happy story they were thinking of about their Dad.  I saw their father in their faces.  I invited private flashback moments of their births, of stories of our lives with him.  And I began to feel gratitude. I was feeling "with". 

Not gratitude for him not being here, but gratitude for him giving us what we had with him in our lives.  Reflection.

Over a comfort food breakfast we shared stories.  Nurture

Looking around our ecosystem and feeling Blessed.  Gratitude.

Choosing kindness over bitterness.  Community.

Inhaling Peace and Exhaling Love.  Love.

Went out for lunch and shared laughter and fellowship.  Joy.

Reminded myself that I am supported.  Spirit.

Allowed myself to let go.  Flow

The mixing of Gratitude with Grief is like trying to blend oil and water.  

Grief being the oil at the top not allowing the water (Gratitude or Peace) to mix in.  You can shake the jar as long and hard as you want and in the end the oil will always float to the top.  

We can not change the physical properties of oil and water, however what we can do is change our perspective.  Perhaps the oil is the Gratitude and the water is the grief?  Its possible, if we allow it.

Everyone has their own process in coping with and moving through grief. And as each year passes I'd love to say that it gets easier; however what I will say is that it gets different.

I consciously choose to be open to what is possible.  Grief can rise to the top on any given day.  

I'm not looking to close the door on grief for myself or my daughters, I am however always open to creatively approaching this memorial day or any other day that grief appears. 

I'm grateful.  I'm grateful to be here to hug my girls, to love my girls and send love to everyone who has lost.

Its safe and okay to be sad and miss our Dads,

Its safe and okay to love and miss our Dads,

All is well.

Inhale Love,

Exhale Peace

and repeat.

Wood You? - Its Elemental Dear Bagua

If a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound?  I'm not sure.  However if a palm frond falls off your palm tree and hits the neighbor's garage it most definitely makes a sound.

I've had the pleasure of being in the garden on 2 occasions in the last month to hear the cracking and subsequent whoosh and crash of a 2 metre frond drop.  This morning as I looked up at my tree I was struck with something, perhaps you can relate.

Isn't it fascinating that plant life just does what it does?  Right now in the Southern Hemisphere I see new leaves opening on my trees, my lawn is covered in clover, my citrus trees are nearly done producing and the palm is dropping the seed branch which I think is Australia's version of snow.

The tree never questions its process, it just goes with its rhythm.  All it wants to be is a tree.  

You don't see the orange tree trying to emulate the bamboo, or the bamboo trying to be a hedge.  Plant life does its thing, its the plant its intended to be.

The element of wood in Feng Shui is that of growth.  Plant life of all kind have a foundation of roots to support the growth above the earth.  Just like in our literal life we sometimes need to cut or prune to allow new growth, or to clear so that growth is not stunted or all consuming.

Wood is 

• intuition, 
• it is what you see and what your don't see; as in the plant/tree reaches out above the earth while the roots are hidden in the earth therefore it holds trust; 
• its an element of new growth, new skills, new projects. 
• Wood embodies expansion.
• trees have branches; our brains can branch out
• trees have seeds; seeds are knowledge
• the color green.

Wood is in Balance when we can trust the process and take reasonable risks; while open to guidance and open minded.

Too much wood can leave us feeling encumbered, and we can not keep up.

Taking to much on and consuming to much of the Earth.  We need to bring in the metal element to cut the wood.

Too little wood may be felt when we are not branching out; when we are keeping ourselves small. We need water in order to nourish Wood.

I invite you to consider where you are nurturing yourself for growth in all ways.  Physically, mentally and emotional nurturing to grow your tree of life.

Stoking Your Fire: Its Elemental My Dear Bagua

Fire plays a dynamic role in our world; both literally and in our vernacular.

Using Fire in our language can be as such:

Get fired up = energized.

Being fired up = motivated.

Fire in the belly = motivation.

Getting fired = losing one's job.

I'm on fire = Angry, enraged.

I'm on fire = On a roll, passionate.

And the list goes on...

The Fame and Reputation Gua is the home of the element of Fire.  I interpret this gua as having the essence of Community as its all about who we are in the world, thus how we are viewed by others by what we communicate to the world.

Fire is about communication, emotion, and touch.

A healthy amount of fire in our lives is nourishing.  Fire can be our spark, our sparkle, our excitement in our life.  It can be conveyed in a warm and gracious nature. 

Too much fire can be

• aggressiveness
• conflict
• impatience
• intolerance
• loud

Too little fire can be

• lackluster
• no warmth
• flat
• cold, chilly
• separation from
• shy

Elementally, Fire fees on Wood which turns to ashes which turns to Earth.

If we put a single piece of paper into a fireplace and light it, it will ignite and burst magnificently into flames.  However in order to keep a fire going, we must feed it, starting with kindling and build to adding logs.  We nurture the fire in our live's metaphorical hearth the same way.

Finding Your Center: Its Elemental My Dear Bagua.

Earth is the Element directly associated with the Center of the Bagua.

Hence my invitation for people to come to the center of the map and feel "Grounded".  

The best literal example I can use is what I do prior to teaching a Foot Fitness class or doing any type of bodywork.  I generally ask people to do a check in or perform an inventory of their body prior to us going forward.

Its simple and takes only a couple minutes, I invite you to join in.

• Sit with your feet flat on the floor; or stand
• Hands on lap; or hanging easily to your side
• Eyes open or closed, your choice
• Inhale through your nose to the count of 3,
• Exhale to the count of 3 through your nose, like you are pressing out your breath
• Repeat, extending the count as you are comfortable
• Inhale noticing your lungs expanding and your shoulders rising
• Exhale feeling your body melt down down down into your feet
• Inhale feeling the energy rising
• Exhale feeling the energy descending
• Notice your feet and how they are making contact to the floor
• Notice the where you feel the weight distributed
• Press your feet into the floor; extend the toes to create the widest foundation
• Inhale filling your lungs to capacity; lifting through the top of your head
• pause; then exhale and empty your lungs to their depths pressing your feet into the floor
• Take an inventory of your body from the feet up to the top of your head
• Continue to focus on your breath; extending up through the top of the head and extending through the feet into the floor.
• Notice and feel the contrast.
• Continue for as long as comfortable.

This physical check-in can also be adapted to how you are feeling in your life overall.  Check out the Earth qualities:

Earth is physical, and is tangible in quality.
Earth is represented by the shades of yellow and earthtones;
Earth is literal soil, ceramics, tile, brick; 
Earth is the shapes of square and rectangle.
Earth is practical.
Earth is stability.

Too much Earth energy may be defined as feeling: 

• too much responsibility
• weighted down or heavy
• too conservative
• all method no madness
• getting stuck
• to focussed

Too little Earth energy may be defined by feeling:

• precarious
• floating
• unfocussed
• irresponsible

Balanced Earth Energy

• grounded in the here and now
• accountable of what we do and say
• action to ideas
• practical as an equal partner
• symbolic of being the creator

So where on Earth are you? Or where is Earth within you?

On average are you feeling balanced, centered and grounded?

Can you notice where in your life that you may benefit from cultivating more or less Earth energy.  What action can you take to make that possible?

The Element of Wood controls Earth; whilst Fire makes Earth...

More on that to come.

Press Any Key to Continue

Wouldn't it be awesome if our lives came with an Any Key? 

I'm all about choosing to Move Forward, and admittedly there are times, such as now, that I would love for my life to have a pop up window that said...

 

"Press any key to continue" 

• To continue...
• To continue...
• To continue...

What does that mean "to continue"?

How do we reboot or wait for our internal harddrive to stop spinning on its own and find the point where we left off?

• Please wait...Loading
• Please wait...Loading
• Please wait...Loading

Ughhh

My focus is to share my interpretation of Feng Shui to help people find their center, their balance and to feel more grounded.  I've gone back to this time and again when my footing has slipped and my foundation shifted.  Over the last few months I have been tested time and again about the feasibility and structural integrity of this concept.

There are five elements that affect and work in concert the Bagua in Feng Shui.  

Water, Wood, Fire, Earth and Metal.  

I trust you are familiar with that feeling when things are moving along just tickety boo,  Gotta love that vibeage.

Metaphorically speaking, the Controlling or Destructive cycle can feel like:

Kerspoosh a big rock is tossed into your Water/Flow;

That splash then douses the flames of your Fire;

Or Sizzle sizzle drip drip the container that holds it all together has melted into a puddle of no discernible shape;

Or Whack...Timmmmber; down fall the tree(s) you've been nurturing;

An imbalance of any element does not have to be your downfall.  The magic is in being able to step back to see what needs to be added or culled to bring back harmony.

And the best direction I can give at this time is to that is to 

• Please wait...Loading
• Please wait...Loading
• Please wait...Loading

then  "Press any key to continue" 

• To continue...
• To continue...
• To continue...

Who am I Creating?

Captivating quote Mr. Shaw.

My youngest daughter recently shared with me her love of this quote, and I wholeheartedly agree with the message.

As I've been focusing on creating my/our life here in Australia I've shifted my attention to other forms of media to build my community.  Such as Facebook and YouTube; and freshly added is Pinterest .  

Admittedly as much as I value my personal strength in all ways, my dang gremlins when it comes to writing stuff down are very robust & convincing.  So thanks for indulging me as I again "Start where I am".

I have grown with the number of people who have "Liked" my Facebook Business Page and today I feel an overwhelming urge to Share about Me.  And not in the blurby, marketing kind of way in order for those who have been attracted to what I've been posting to get to know me.

So here goes...

If a picture says a Thousand words, I'd be curious as to what words you would use to describe me at a glance from the picture above.  

• I am Loud Music and I am Silence and every rhythm and beat in between.
• I am as much Type A as I am Atypical.
• My Physical workout style is: Feel the Pain & Push my limit; my Bodywork teaching style is restorative.
• I can exude the Rock Star Vibe as well as being the Zen Vibeage.
• I can and will eat that plate of French Fries with as much enthusiasm as I do juicing beetroot, spinach and carrots.
• I do not buy Fat Free anything unless by accident and I only use butter.
• I am sarcastic; I am diplomatic.
• At times outspoken, but always truthful.
• I know what it feels like to Love.
• I know what it feels like to Grieve.
• I will stand up for what I believe in; I will stand behind those I believe in.
• I am as simple as I am complicated.
• I am Fire; I am Water.
• I am Yin and I am Yang.

With Gratitude I can say with conviction I am...ME!

Enjoy your day ;)

Purging & Acquisition: Last Lap

Getting back on the airplane to Frankfurt after our whirlwind tour of home we were exhausted and laden with luggage.  We came with 2 pieces (one suitcase held another suitcase inside) and left with 4 jumbo bags plus our abundantly plump carry-ons.

Leaving Canada with our stuff was easy, making our train connection in Frankfurt was going to be a synchronized weight lifting event.  Here is a tip:  When travelling by train in Europe, if the schedule states that it is leaving at 15:22 then it is leaving at 15:22. As well the train may only stop for about 3 or 4 minutes before it carries on out of the station.

I worked out with the girls who was going to get on first, who was going to be on the receiving end of me hoisting/pitching/dragging the bags into the train. Then we would negotiate where we would park the bags once on board.

Also, fun fact, I'm not a stranger to packing a well stocked bag and am usually in awe at those around me who get onto the train or check in at the airport with their Barbie size suitcase for a 3 week holiday.  Now I'm not opposed to the concept that you can always pick up what you need there, yeah that is never a problem.  The image of me and my girls with 4 large suitcases, 3 large carry-ons and purses, I believe made many an observer shake their head at us.

We were successful, we were exhausted, we were trying not to be lulled to sleep by the train as we had a station change in short order............Once back to our quaint little cottage, now feeling like it was bulging at the seams with our luggage our shoulders instantly relieved being back in our home.

Over the next few months we continued to cultivate our lives, our friendships, our connections and penchant to cover as much of Europe as possible, all the while knowing that our time in Deutschland and Nederland may be soon coming to an end.



Returning to Europe and back to the now familiar sights, sounds, languages and vibe.  We had been Blessed from the moment we first landed that we were welcomed and it felt like Home.  

Sure we hacked our way through the language, and that continued throughout our time, but very rarely did it feel "foreign" to be there, Germany and The Netherlands were exceptional Hosts.

Not all expats have this experience and I viewed this as a tremendous gift. 

The one thing that expats all have in common is having to say "good bye".